What's Behind the "Never Ask a Man His Salary" Meme? A Career and Salary Deep Dive
You’ve likely seen the meme format: “Never ask a woman her age, a man his salary, and a [specific professional] about [a niche, complex, or surprisingly lucrative aspect of their job].” While humorous, this meme points to a fascinating truth in the professional world: some careers have salary potential and compensation structures that are far more complex and lucrative than the public imagines.
These are often high-stakes, high-skill roles where compensation can easily reach well into the six figures, leaving outsiders surprised. This article unpacks the reality behind the meme, using data-driven analysis to explore the careers that often earn a spot in this popular format. We'll focus on two common examples that fit the bill perfectly: Air Traffic Controllers and senior-level Software Engineers.
What Do the Professionals Behind the Meme Do?
Before we talk numbers, it's crucial to understand the work. The high salaries associated with these roles aren't arbitrary; they are tied to immense responsibility, specialized skills, and significant stress.
- An Air Traffic Controller (ATC) is responsible for the safe and orderly flow of air traffic. Working from control towers and radar centers, they coordinate the movement of thousands of aircraft, ensuring they remain at safe distances from one another during takeoff, landing, and en route flight. The job requires impeccable focus, rapid decision-making, and the ability to remain calm under extreme pressure, as a single error can have catastrophic consequences.
- A Software Engineer (or Software Developer) is the architect and builder of the digital world. They design, develop, test, and maintain the software and applications we use daily—from smartphone apps to massive enterprise systems and the complex algorithms that power artificial intelligence. The role is a blend of creative problem-solving, logical thinking, and deep technical expertise in programming languages, system design, and data structures.
Average Salary for These High-Earning Roles
This is where the meme gets its power. The earning potential in these fields can be staggering, especially as professionals gain experience and specialize.
For Air Traffic Controllers, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) reports the median annual wage was $137,380 as of May 2022. The pay scale is wide, with the lowest 10 percent earning around $73,530, while the highest 10 percent can earn more than $205,430 per year.
For Software Engineers, the salary landscape is even more varied. According to Glassdoor, the estimated total pay for a Software Engineer in the United States is $124,534 per year, with an average base salary of $104,151. However, this is just an average. At top tech companies (like Google, Meta, or Apple) and in senior positions, total compensation—including salary, bonuses, and stock options—can easily soar past $200,000 to $300,000 or more annually.
Key Factors That Influence Salary
Averages tell only part of the story. To truly understand the earning potential, we must look at the key factors that cause salaries to fluctuate so dramatically.
### Level of Education
Interestingly, the educational paths for these high-paying roles differ significantly.
- Air Traffic Controllers: A traditional four-year degree is not a strict requirement. Candidates can qualify with three years of progressively responsible work experience, a bachelor's degree, or a combination of postsecondary education and work experience. The most critical step is being accepted into and graduating from the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) Academy. This specialized, intense training is the true barrier to entry.
- Software Engineers: A Bachelor of Science in Computer Science or a related field is the most common and direct path. It provides the foundational knowledge that top employers seek. However, the tech industry is also known for valuing skills over credentials. Talented developers from coding bootcamps or with a strong portfolio of self-taught projects can also secure high-paying roles. For specialized, high-earning fields like Artificial Intelligence or Machine Learning, a Master's degree or Ph.D. can unlock top-tier salaries and research positions.
### Years of Experience
Experience is arguably the single most powerful driver of salary growth in both fields.
- An entry-level or trainee Air Traffic Controller starts at a much lower salary while they undergo rigorous on-the-job training. As they achieve certifications and become a Certified Professional Controller (CPC), their salary increases significantly. Seniority and experience managing complex airspace lead to top-tier pay.
- In software engineering, the career ladder has a dramatic impact on earnings. According to data from Payscale, an entry-level software engineer might start around $80,000. This can rise to over $120,000 at the mid-career level and exceed $150,000+ for senior and principal engineers. At major tech firms, a Staff or Principal Engineer with a decade or more of experience can see total compensation packages approach or even exceed $500,000.
### Geographic Location
Where you work matters immensely. Salaries are often adjusted for the local cost of labor and living.
- For Air Traffic Controllers, pay is tied to the complexity and traffic volume of their assigned facility. A controller at a major hub like Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International (ATL) or Chicago O'Hare (ORD) will earn substantially more than one at a small, regional airport.
- For Software Engineers, tech hubs command the highest salaries. Cities like San Francisco, San Jose, Seattle, and New York City offer significantly higher pay to attract talent in a competitive market. For example, according to Salary.com, a software engineer's salary in San Jose, CA, is typically 25-30% higher than the national average.
### Company Type
The type of employer is a huge determinant of pay, especially in the tech world.
- Air Traffic Controllers are predominantly employed by the federal government (the FAA), so their pay is structured on a standardized government scale. While consistent and transparent, it lacks the explosive potential of private-sector equity.
- Software Engineers have a vast range of employers. A developer at a non-tech company or a small startup will likely earn a solid but more modest salary. In contrast, an engineer at a "Big Tech" company (FAANG/MANGA) receives a compensation package heavily weighted with bonuses and stock units (RSUs), which can often double their base salary.
### Area of Specialization
Specializing in a high-demand niche can provide a significant salary premium.
- Air Traffic Controllers specialize in one of three areas: Tower (clearing aircraft for takeoff/landing), TRACON (managing approach and departure), or En Route (managing aircraft at high altitudes between airports). Controllers at busier, more complex En Route centers typically have higher earning potential.
- For Software Engineers, specialization is a massive salary booster. Engineers with expertise in high-demand fields like AI/Machine Learning, Cybersecurity, Cloud Infrastructure (DevOps), and Blockchain development are in short supply and can command premium salaries that are often 15-25% higher than those of generalist developers.
Job Outlook
The future looks bright, though growth rates vary.
The BLS projects that employment for Air Traffic Controllers will show little or no change from 2022 to 2032. While growth is flat, the FAA will need to hire new controllers each year to replace those who retire or leave the profession, ensuring a steady stream of opportunities for qualified candidates.
In contrast, the outlook for Software Developers is explosive. The BLS projects employment to grow by 25 percent from 2022 to 2032, much faster than the average for all occupations. This translates to about 153,900 openings for software developers, quality assurance analysts, and testers projected each year, on average, over the decade.
Conclusion
The "never ask a man his salary" meme is more than just a joke; it’s a cultural nod to professions where hard-earned expertise translates into surprisingly high compensation. As we've seen with Air Traffic Controllers and Software Engineers, these six-figure salaries are not given away—they are earned through high-stakes responsibility, specialized training, and continuous skill development.
For anyone considering a new career path, the lesson is clear: look beyond the job title. By researching the key factors that influence pay—experience, location, specialization, and employer type—you can uncover incredible opportunities and chart a course toward a financially rewarding and professionally fulfilling future.